well today is new years eve and im sleeping over jeff's tonight with him, keri, dan, maybe jay n maybe mike.. it should be loads of fun, especially playing kings..lol.. but not as fun as when jeff slept over here.. my mom made us sleep in the same bed and then she closed the door.. weird huh? anyways...
ive been thinking a lot lately.. about things that i am done in the past, stupid things.. and i realized that i have made a lot of stupid mistakes.. and there are a lot of things that i regret... for starters.. i completely regret ever dating Shawn.. BIG mistake... not only did it ruin my friendship with him but it ruined my friendship with lisa too.. i mean yea, lisa pisses me off more then anyone else... and i am sooo tired of the stupid ass dirty looks.. i mean.. i made a mistake, every one makes them, so why hold it against me two fucking years later?? but i keep thinking about sophmore year, and lunch with skittles, and just the laughing and goofing off and always having tons of fun... i mean.. sophmore lunch was the best... n i miss the way things used to be.. n i def regret dating shawn.. we were such better friends, then boyfriend/girlfriend... we drove eachother crazy and it was stupid to even do that.. but ive lost those friendships, and there is no way for me to get them back when neither of them miss it, or want it back...
next i regret going out with matt the first day i met him, i didnt have a chance to get to know him, i just liked the fact that someone was interested in me, so i decided to just go for it.. yea me n matt had a lot of fun, but i do wish i got to know him better before dating him..
i also regret the way that i acted after breakups with shawn and matt.. i was so stupid and so immature and its no wonder why shawn hates me and why i drove both of them crazy.. i mean, i was really really bad with that, its actually really embarrasing...
and i regret certain events that occured with mikey.. that was probably one of the stupidest things ever.. probably the biggest regret i have..
there is definetly a long list of regrets that i have.. and unfortunately, i do not have the power to go back in time.. all i can do is learn from those mistakes and grow from it, which i think i have done.. i mean i am still the crazy me, just a bit more mature now, for i have learned a lot..and i think that ive matured a lot through my relationship with jeff.. ive learned a lot about my feelings, and how my actions have conseqences... and that i do have people that care about me and love me and are there for me.. and EVERYONE makes mistakes and EVERYONE has regrets.. its the forgiving, forgetting, learning and growing that makes us who we are....
Posted at 08:11 am by Blondluv130
